I never anticipated feeling it necessary to post the following entry. I feel it is very important. The goal of our group has been to fight unethical adoptions. Under normal circumstances, this would mean we would attempt to help a parent fighting to get their child back, whether it was a thwarted father or a coerced mother. We were limited in how we could help most of the time, but we did what we could. We had to learn the hard way that not every parent is worthy of help.
The case I am about to tell you about involves a birthmother named Carri and her son Camden. Carri’s case was brought to our attention not quite two years ago. She was presented as this poor woman who had been duped into signing relinquishment papers for her son, Camden. Now, if I remember the original version of the story given, she’d gone to an adoption agency in a panic mere days before birth and started the adoption plan. The agency allegedly coerced a signature out of her while she was still heavily drugged from a C-section birth. As the story goes, she realized the mistake and started fighting to get back her son.
Some of the group was skeptical. We normally worked with fathers fighting unethical and illegal adoptions. As most know, the laws in place are stacked against unmarried fathers, many of which had no idea their children were being put up for adoption by bitter ex girlfriends. Fathers aren’t afforded the choices that a mother has when it comes to adoption. Carri admitted to signing the documents, albeit heavily drugged from birth. She also said that she revoked the consent as quickly as she could. We took on the case tentatively.
I will admit I was on her side at one point. I felt for her. But as time passed, things started to not add up. Mostly little things, really. Time frames. Dates. Some of it was easy enough to brush off as an after-effect of stress, but soon it became more obvious. The skepticism many shared was starting to spread.
The first big blow out happened over the Go Fund Me pages we supported that helped collect donations for legal funds. At the time there were two or three. Carri’s and one or two fathers we were helping. Carri started griping that people weren’t donating enough to hers. Griping that the dads were getting more. We tried to let it lie for a spell. Legal costs can be astronomical, so it was a given she’d be stressed. The other issue was that a supporter arranged the Go Fund Me for Carri because apparently she couldn’t set it up. I’m not sure why, but she couldn’t. So one of the supporters kindly set it up for her. Instead of kindly accepting what people could spare, she griped about amounts donated, how so few people were donating and when that didn’t get the results she wanted, she started spreading rumors about one of the dads. Said his case was over and everyone needed to stop donating.
Then the supporter assisting her in the donation page decided to drop the page because it became a tax liability. This was explained to Carri at length. Supporters cannot put their own livelihood and well being on the line for the donation pages. If she needed one, she needed to set it up herself. Instead of taking this graciously, she flipped out and accused the supporter of skimming money from it and of trying to sabotage her case. Never mind the receipts that showed any and all monies donated were going to Carri’s lawyer.
This mess was enough for many to drop her completely. Don’t bite the hand that feeds, you know what I mean?
Now remember when it was said that she was coerced into signing while still heavily drugged? Now, if you go to her support page, Bring Camden Home, this is the story that is getting touted around:
Now upon reading that, you’d think they were in there with papers and pushing for her to sign. It certainly fits her story of being coerced into signing the paperwork right after birth and still heavily drugged. I suppose she forgot that her local news media picked up the story last spring. Interesting little tidbits here.
I’ve had C-sections. Two of them. Standard hospital stay is 2 days with 6 to 8 weeks of rest and low activity at home. And they certainly do not have you so dopey on drugs that you don’t know what’s going on, let alone weakly willing to sign something against your will. Article here says she signed 4 days after his birth. That’s NOT still heavily drugged and dilated in the hospital. Most folks I know are HOME and either resting or at least doing little things around the house.
She claimed she attempted to revoke the consent immediately after signing the relinquishment papers. But the news article has this little tidbit included.
Now the article did leave out some information. Based on the COA docs, she did file something before the date mentioned in the article, but the petition was dismissed due to lack of jurisdiction (filed in the wrong court). When she did finally file with the correct court, it was the May 9th date as stated in the article. The thing is, given OH law and the dates presented, the law stands firm. No going back. It’s a done deal.
In the early stages of her case, there were media articles and FB posts about Carri’s case. Many supporters came to her aid. But a few commenters stood out amongst the crowd.
And then there is this gem of a comment:
But wait, it gets better.
Wait, so this is the 3rd time she’s attempted to wrangle an adoption of one of her children? And from the sounds of things had no issue revoking consent and taking her children home with her. Doesn’t appear that anyone bullied her or coerced a signature out of her during the previous adoption attempts. So how come Camden’s situation ended differently?
All in all, things were not adding up at all. Between her tantrums over the GoFundMe page and demanding any who questioned her be banned from the support group, many started to pull support. We were backing off. We had no interest in getting burned and labeled as a bad group. Other members had discovered more information that was damning to Carri’s case. This was privately messaged to one of Carri’s biggest supporters, a blogger well known within the adoption community. She brushed it all off and Carri went on further tirades. We were being accused of trying to sabotage her case, members were accused of stealing donation funds and Carri had manged to obtain quite the following. Mostly birthmothers who’d been hurt from the adoptions of their children. Our group was branded as troublemakers and even a few fathers dropped their support of us.
It came to our attention that Carri had been relaying information to opposing parties. She’d also been lying to other fathers who were fighting for their children. We’d become ostracized by most of the community because of her. Because we refused to blindly support her crusade and had become suspicious of her motives and actions towards others.
When one of her doubters confronted the mess Carri had created, she became a target and soon Carri and some of her supporters – including the well known blogger – started to attack on Twitter. Mocking the death of the doubter’s husband seemed to be a favorite dig.
I could go on about all the things that happened over the months. I slowly and quietly withdrew my support entirely long before it had reached the point it had with the mudslinging and attacks on those who doubted Carri. The thing that became the most clear was that in Carri’s eyes, if you weren’t 100% in support of her case and cause then you were against her and out to sabotage her.
I’m not sure if telling the truth is sabotage. We have a woman who clearly is used to manipulating people and getting her way by any means necessary. She had family willing to help her and even take her son for her and she refused. Some of her family won’t even try to step on her toes out of fear of what she may do. I’m not sure what all had taken place, just that some were not only no longer supporting her, but were keeping a clear distance from her and anyone who had anything to do with her crusade to get her son back.
I think the thing that angers me the most is seeing how she has so many in support of her crusade even when it’s quite clear that she’s nothing but a manipulative scam artist. She accused a former supporter of throwing a garage sale in Camden’s name and pocketed the proceeds when in fact the person had planned the garage sale long before she knew about Carri’s case and had only offered to donate a portion of the proceeds to the fundraiser.
It should also be pointed out that one of Carri’s original issues with the fundraiser pages were because she had no direct access to the monies donated. And no doubt some were kind enough to donate to Carri directly. One person I know did just that and paid dearly for it. Carri convinced the young woman to donate to her directly. This woman wrote Carri a check for $2k and overnighted the check to Carri.
A short while after the check had been sent, the generous donor noticed some peculiar activity on her checking account. Particularly that it was being used for purchases and payments out of Ohio, the state Carri resides in.
While the above information is difficult to read, that is billing for Columbus OH public utilities. The donor’s account was used to pay a $170.00 bill. Other charges were made as well. When confronted with this, Carri attempted to claim it was one of her children who used the bank info. To pay a utility bill?
Here is a clearer shot of the fraud report email the person sent their bank regarding the payment. Now if you look at the shipping label up above, the owner of the account resides in South Carolina. The bank account info was clearly used for Columbus Ohio public utilities.
Keep in mind all of this is happening while Carri is trying oh so hard to play the victim of some unscrupulous adoption agency. Obtaining donations with sob stories of legal fees and then using personal banking info to pay her bills instead of her own cash.
And let’s not forget lurking in other contested adoption cases hoping to snag someone else’s glory. Just recently we all heard about the Colby Nielsen adoption case. The young man had his newborn daughter taken by law enforcement after the infant’s mother signed her over for adoption while the baby was still in dad’s care. The public outcry was great and this young man found himself with thousands of supporters and had managed to fundraise a significant amount in only a few short days. Lo and behold, like a vulture that can smell flesh, Carri rolled into there trying desperately to whore out her own fundraiser page.
When some positive news came through, Carri was soon swamping the comment threads of this young man’s support page, saying that his case was done and it was no longer an adoption case. Saying that people should start focusing their energy on the other contested adoption cases. She was a bit more tactful in this and posted links to some other fundraisers but still managed to plop her own into the mix. Her attempts to redirect attention are not a new thing as we’d seen her attempt this with another case not too long ago. And when she couldn’t take the attention away, she started claiming the dad running a fraudulent fundraiser. I feel it will only be a matter of time before she attempts the same with Colby. She was almost desperate in her efforts to derail Colby’s situation and downplay it as much as possible. Oh his case was done. Now it’s just a custody case. There’s other folks who need help and me too! She’s even implied that her case paved the way for Colby and other dads who are fighting!
All of the information presented is just the tip of the iceberg. While I normally am vocal about what I feel are unethical adoptions, I do not see it with Carri’s situation. She willingly sought the agency. This is not her first attempt at surrendering one of her children (if the commenter at the beginning was telling the truth). She signed several days after birth when she was lucid and not under the influence, in spite of her contradictory claims. She didn’t attempt to revoke as quickly as she could. She filed in the wrong court and then by the time she filed in the correct one, a month had passed since she signed the surrender. A MONTH. And she wants so badly for everyone to see her as a victim? She wasn’t strong armed into doing a damned thing. She did this of her own free will and there are no take backs now. Those who support her seemed more concerned with taking down an agency. Any agency. And Carri’s situation opened up a possibility that these supporters never dreamed imaginable. But for Carri, this has nothing to do with her son. I doubt he was even her concern when she went public with her case. I could rattle off what I think her motives are: The attention she is receiving. The donations. She thrives on the attention she is receiving and sympathy. And she can’t stand it when others take away her shot at the spot light.
Given the length of time it has been since she WILLINGLY AND SOBERLY signed those relinquishment papers for her son, I highly doubt she will get her son back. But I’m sure she knows this. She’s known this for a while. But as long as she can continue to use her pathetic situation to gain supporters and cash, she’s going to hold onto this fraud as long as she can. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was also holding out for a pay off from the agency to shut her up.